Letter to Anita: On Freewill

“Will God be angry if I hurt my fellow friend and you?”
“Will God not love me if I decide not to choose what God wants me to?”


Dear Anita,


Profound questions
Seeking understanding


I remember once
sobbing and wailing, I was,
from a pain inside no one could heal.
And in weariness,
the thought flashed.
This pain, God can do nothing about
but shed tears with me,
tears of helplessness


If God is ever powerful and omnipotent, God will answer – pray!
God should answer prayers!


That is true.
Just on that particular day,
I knew God was sad,
for me.
Not being able to help
not being able to do a thing.
Then, just then,
a sadness stung in me for God
who could not help or do anything
for me and my pain.


It must be painful for the Almighty One
to let things happen to the beloved,
and have to let it happen,
for God believes in freewill.
A precious gift to humanity,
the pinnacle of creation.
A priceless gift never taken back.


What a cost, what a cost,
my gentle and loving God has to pay
to sit by my side and weep with me

God will not be angry at you, dear Anita,
nor will God withdraw God’s love
whatever you do.

God might be sad and even weep
but God believes in freewill.
And in the long haul, in the end,
God will make all well.
All shall be well.


God loves you, dear Anita,
whatever you do…
But longingly wishes
For your love, too.

Dewi fcJ
February 2019
St. Albans