“Here I am Lord! I come to accomplish your will.”: Part 2

This entry is a response to an earlier letter published here.

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May 2019                                                                                                                                                   
My dear friend,

What a big support the letter was that I received from you fifteen years ago, assuring me that I am not alone. Thank you very much! Your words gave me strength and encouraged me to be patient and believe that God has his own plan for me and at the right time will let me know.

As you mention, God`s presence accompanied me all through these years. God himself worked hard in me in order to prepare me to listen and hear what He had to say.

My time in France gave me the chance to meet other congregations. This was a big help for me in order to discern which congregation was giving me more joy and was attracting me through the desires I had and still hold in my heart. I became very sure that it was the way of living in the community that was really important for me and not at all the beautiful design or colour of the habit!

As I look back I remember how the time of reflection helped me to see and recognise the little signs God was trying to send me. I understood that God was speaking to me through the simple experiences of the everyday. I needed just to stop, make silence, pray, reflect and acknowledge how beautifully God was showing me the steps I was called to walk.

God indeed walked gently with me. When I finally understood that I was called to be an FCJ, I recall now that special emotion, the desire to do it the next day, as soon as possible. I did not want to waste another single day from my life that is so short! But again patience was asked of me.

Even though the discernment helped me to see more clearly God`s will for me I was very aware that ultimately it is about my personal free and deliberate “Yes.” God can`t do anything without all of my being. I knew that it was a big risk and I enjoyed very much taking that risk in saying Yes. I indeed abandoned myself in God`s hands and I was blessed with many confirmations and I knew I was on the right path.  What helped me to believe was that I felt free to be myself, I found my place and above all experienced much joy and peace in my heart.

Today, after more than 10 years since my first vows, the freedom I live in many aspects of my life as an FCJ is what inspires me daily to be a companion for those I meet on my journey; to love and serve.

I know God is the one who has chosen me first. Today again I abandoned myself to his plan strongly believing that he can do far more than I can ever ask or imagine for his greater glory.

With much love and prayer, Cornelia fcJ.

written by Cornelia Virga, fcJ